One of the greatest highlights of my book writing experience thus far was recently being granted an interview with Dr. Lois Frankel.  Leading Lady Dr. Frankel, author of the top-selling business bible for women, Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, is also President of Corporate Coaching International, a bestselling author, executive coach, and an internationally-recognized expert in the field of leadership development for women. Her books also include Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich, Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It, See Jane Lead and Stop Sabotaging Your Career. 

I read her renown ‘Nice Girls’ book nine years ago and it was part of the catalyst for guiding me away from psychotherapy and into my current work.  Dr. Frankel just re-released this book on its 10^th Anniversary and retitled it, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office.  I paraphrased some of this interview in my TV segment earlier this week on how to “Navigate Office Politics”.  Here is the full interview with Dr. Frankel:

Katie: Dr. Frankel, many women I work with are concerned that they are not adept enough at navigating office politics when it comes to furthering their career.  What is your advice for them?

Dr. Frankel:  Yes, this is very common. Women perceive politics as swarmy, dirty, and something to be avoided at all costs.  The real problem then is that they miss out on opportunities to advance their career because of this avoidance.  Politics is simply the business of relationships.  And women are actually very good at navigating politics when they actually engage because they’re good at building relationships.

The second problem is that women think that every relationship has to be authentic to the point that they have to invite each person over to their home for dinner.   Yes, you have to be authentic and genuine, but there are differences in the nature of each interaction.  Which brings us to the third problem; women don’t differentiate personal relationships with transactional relationships.  We put equal amounts of time into every relationship – then wonder why we have no work/life balance!

Katie: What are your solutions to this quandary Dr. Frankel?

Dr. Frankel:  First, replace the word politics with relationships. Second, accept the fact that inherent to every relationship is a ‘quid pro quo.’  It is what makes every relationship work.  Something is being exchanged all the time within relationships. Women tend to give and don’t ask for anything in return.  You must cash in the collateral you have in your good will bank account.  Don’t just default to the ‘nice girl’.  Do favors yes, but make sure you collect on the quid pro quo by asking for favors you need that will help you further your business, career, or initiatives.

Katie: Can you give the readers an example of how you have seen this play out?

Dr. Frankel: Yes! There was a woman who I had already done several favors for and when she had gotten a job at a Hollywood studio, she called in another favor from me. She asked me to be a keynote speaker for the company’s women’s group.  I explained to her what my speaking fee was and she immediately said she felt uncomfortable asking for her company to compensate me for my service.  I decided I’d speak pro bono thinking that someday I might need a favor from her.  A year or so later, I needed to find a studio space to hold an event for a non-profit organization and I thought about the specific auditorium that this woman’s company hosted me in when I spoke to their employees. I thought that it would be the perfect setting for this event and that I had earned enough collateral for this request.  When I contacted her and made my request she replied that she did not feel comfortable asking her company for this request.  This is a perfect example of someone who doesn’t understand the quid pro quo inherent to relationships and, as a result, has damaged many along the way. 

You don’t always do things for others because you think you’re going to get something back.  You do things for others because it’s the right thing to do.  Women don’t always understand that getting ahead and getting things done are predicated on this system of give and take – of politics.  So they’re always on the giving side but not the receiving end. 

Katie:  Thank you so much Dr. Frankel!

Friends: We want to hear from you.  Do you agree with Dr. Frankel’s observations? What’s your take on how women can boost their success rate at tackling office politics?

Knowing how to effectively navigate work place politics can be the most bewildering aspect of managing your career.  Many men and women report that they feel under prepared for these scenarios, particularly because the topic is not addressed in formal business education settings. 

I recently had the privilege of interviewing two of our countries experts on this very topic and I want to thank them for helping me to prepare for this segment, Dr. Kathleen Kelley Reardon, (Management and Organization Professor, University of Southern California Marshall School of Business; Author, Artist and Huffington Post Blogger) and Dr. Lois Frankel (Bestselling author, Executive Coach, and an Internationally-Recognized Expert in the field of leadership development for women).

To see the TV segment I did today on this topics go to:

Katie Kelley on KATU News discussing tips for, “Navigating Office Politics”

Tip #1: Reframe Work Place Politics as the Business of Relationships

Dr. Frankel explained to me that the first step in becoming better equipped to approach politics in your workplace is to simply reframe this terrain as the ‘business of relationship building’.  Rather than viewing this arena as something ‘swarmy or to be avoided’, approach this uncomfortable terrain in a person to person context.  Meaning to isolate each scenario singularly and work on each related relationship individually.

Tip # 2: Differentiate Personal Relationships from Transactional Relationships

In following with this advice, Dr. Frankel advised,” that you accept the fact that inherent to every relationship is a ‘quid pro quo.’  It is what makes every relationship work.  Something is being exchanged all the time within relationships. Women tend to give and don’t ask for anything in return.  You must cash in the collateral you have in your good will bank account.  Don’t just default to the ‘nice girl’.  Do favors yes, but make sure you collect on the quid pro quo by asking for favors you need that will help you further your business, career, or initiatives.”  I can provide an example of how this came up for Dr. Frankel with a female colleague of hers.

Tip # 3: Evaluate What Patterns Are Holding You Back at Work

Consider ways that you may be even unconsciously shirking from your power and holding back on providing your greatest value to your company.   For example, Dr. Kathleen Kelley Reardon cautioned that women tend to use too many disclaimers and aligning actions like, “I hope this approach doesn’t upset anyone” or “This may sound stupid, but…”  Dr. Reardon suggests that rather than demeaning what you have to say, use prefaces like these: “Here is my view given what I’ve learned so far” or “Hear me out on this one. It’s an idea in progress” or “Let’s look at it another way”. 

Tip # 4: Observe how Promotion is awarded at Your Workplace

The best way to understand how you can navigate the road towards promotion and getting what you want at your workplace is observing how those in senior levels have already done so.  Dr. Reardon explains, “It’s important to know what matters where you work, how people who get ahead talk about their successes, what tasks to take on and how to make sure people notice your work.”  I will give an example of Dr. Reardon’s about the difference between some male and female attorney’s immediately following a trial win to highlight how men tend to be better at boasting about their accomplishments then women.

Tip # 5: Learn to Fight for Your Corner

Dr. Reardon suggests that after reviewing all of this evidence determine a strategy for how you are going to ‘fight your corner’.  She reminds us to pay attention to the culture of your company, to effectively accentuate your point of view and to devise a clear plan for getting what you want and need to continue to be a successful key player for your company.  Leaning into a supportive network of mentors, sponsors and experts will only further boost your likelihood of navigating the business of relationships as well.

While no one woman is identical to another, we do know that what women most want from their work is flexibility and intrinsic satisfaction. In my forthcoming book, Leading Ladies, I will highlight how these two motivators are changing the face of business, leading to greater job enjoyment for women in the driver’s seat and benefiting consumers and communities at large.  Here are three critical questions to ask yourself when considering how you might be able to redesign your working structure to best fit your particular life long term:

Are you prioritizing your core values when you make critical decisions at work and beyond?

Is your work (place) giving you what you need and want: for your soul, for your career and for your family?

Do you believe you can influence others and design your career so that you can truly live life on your own terms?

Here is an inspirational profile of one of my Leading Ladies, Jessica Ann Morris, describing how she has redesigned business as usual in order to align with her soul’s yearnings, her family’s needs and her professional calling. Jessica Ann Morris @JAMPRLLC  is the Managing Director of JAM! PR LLC as well as an author, journalist, PR passionista and marcom maharishi. I hope she takes your breath away as much as she did mine when I read her book contribution:

Jessica:  “CEO at work and home: I had no doubt I’d get here, although the path was unclear. The journey birthed a business as-per-my usual methodology that relies on two fundamentals: belief (in myself, others, the course) and acceptance (of myself, others, what I can/can’t control). It fuels my professional and community service aspirations, and embraces the most important roles I’ve gladly accepted: devoted wife and mother of four.

In the mid-90s, my Boston College sweetheart and I were walking the San Francisco piers. Randomly, he picked up a street performer’s unicycle and began riding around the marketplace. In an instant, I gasped. Dizzy from my heart skipping a beat and my lungs forgetting to breathe, that moment of clarity provided the measurement point to which I now compare the value of (and my interest in) all professional and personal endeavors. I call that filter—the basis for my methodology—the “Gasp Gap.”

Part of every decision to engage in an opportunity always factors in my Gasp Gap reaction: the extent to which I’m moved at the core, as my now-husband did on that life-altering afternoon. If the gasp comes quickly, there’s a connection that I trust and nurture. A delayed huff? Whatever it is, it’s likely not worth my time and energy.

My Gasp Gap filter is a prioritization tool that empowers me to stay focused on my beliefs, and work and family responsibilities, while embracing those of others. It enables me to accept time, ability and environmental constraints, while finding solutions. It makes acceptable the intrinsic connection I place upon personal and professional success as a self-defining principle, while providing a barometer for taking things to heart. It allows me to pass on a methodology that—I believe—increases my children’s chance for success in life and love.

My work isn’t my life because my life works, and the Gasp Gap tool is a critical part of it.
Team – integrity – kindness – respect – love: I credit my parents and sister for instilling the importance of these core values. Now, they’re the foundation for my family at home, clients at work and collaborations with fellow community servants.

Business as-per-my usual is sustained by personal and professional harmony. While it’ll forever require tweaks in pitch and tone, it’s the duet powering my very own musical.”

I want to be Jessica when I grow up!!

Both she and I would love to know what you think about the steps and faith that Jessica has relied upon in her journey of redesigning business as usual to truly meet her needs and callings in life.

You can find Jessica on Twitter @JAMPRLLC

Thank you so much Jessica for being a part of this journey with me, I feel your support 3,000 miles away!

]]> http://www.legacybuildercoaching.com/how-leading-lady-jessica-ann-morris-is-redesigning-business-as-usual/feed/ 0 http://www.legacybuildercoaching.com/podcast-evolutionaries-carmen-voilleque-randy-harrington-interview-with-katie-kelley-2/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=podcast-evolutionaries-carmen-voilleque-randy-harrington-interview-with-katie-kelley-2 http://www.legacybuildercoaching.com/podcast-evolutionaries-carmen-voilleque-randy-harrington-interview-with-katie-kelley-2/#comments Mon, 06 May 2013 16:28:04 +0000 legacybuildercoaching http://www.legacybuildercoaching.com/?p=1504

I traveled down to Eugene a few weeks ago to meet with Carmen Voilleque and Randy Harrington, Co-Authors of Evolutionaries.  Here is their view of what it means to be an Evolutionary:

“Evolutionaries are people who lead companies, systems, industries, communities and even nations through transformative change…. As we emerge from the Great Recession, the economic landscape has changed. The game is different now, and it will never go back to the way it was. Whether we like it or not, the new economy demands leaders that are agile, adaptable, innovative and visionary… Evolutionaries are not new. They have always been around. But what is different now is that they are the ones that are transforming the economy for a successful future. So whether you are an Evolutionary, you know an Evolutionary, or you are looking for one, this book is for you. If you can harness the capabilities of the Evolutionary leader and align them to your organization’s strategic vision, you are golden. If not, you will only fall further behind the curve.”

We talked shop and then captured some of our dialogue in this podcast, we hope you are entertained and inspired by the work our clients call us to each day.  Enjoy and let us know what you think!

Click this link to hear our podcast:

http://areyouevolutionary.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/041613_01_Woman_in_Leadership.mp3

p.s. I get to talk about my forthcoming book…hooray!

On Saturday, April 27^th, I facilitated Portland, Oregon’s first Lean In Circle in following with Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In Movement at @LargeFilms.   In attendance was my cohort, Cindy Tortorici, CEO and Founder of The Link for Women and ten women whose jobs and industries included attorneys, communications specialists, business managers, fashion and bio-technology.  It was a vast and fantastic assembly of women at various life and professional stages.

We spent the first half of the kick-off meeting sharing our reactions to the Lean In book itself.  Here were the overall themes:

• About a third of the group shared their own reactions or those of their friends and colleagues who were either hesitant to actually read the book because they feared it would be filled with judgments’ about decisions they had made in their career to lean back.  They also did not want to be told that they were somehow not ‘enough’ in the eyes of Ms. Sandberg in contrast to what she has accomplished in her life.  A few echoed a perception that, “of course Sheryl can do it all; she’s got all the money in the world to run her house and family”.

•  Others shared that upon reading the book they immediately found tremendous solace and identity with Sheryl’s ‘inner voice’, fears, and guilt. This validation liberated them and inspired them to attend our meeting today and to find ways to more actively support the women around them to ‘lean in’.

•  Some were inspired by this book to honor their own instincts about their unique journey in life and not to get caught up in the expectations and precedents that our mother’s set for us.  This was a significant theme that kept coming up—how we can feel ‘good’ about the way we are managing our career and family life particularly when it is a distinct departure from the way we were raised.  (For example, when the woman is the primary breadwinner and has limited time to spend with her children at their games and performances).

We then shifted the conversation to talk about how to build our ‘Lean In’ communities and how to identify and glean from a variety of sponsors. Sheryl did a magnificent job addressing this exact topic which alludes many on how to get mentoring right.

Here were some of the other substantial takeaway themes:

• This movement is not about us all needing to become ‘mini Sheryls’, but rather to become more self-possessed in our own right by our own passions and unique life vocations.

•  It is critical that women prioritize themselves and our own needs as much as we do for our families and our jobs.  We have a tendency to neglect ourselves and not honor our yearnings both personally and professionally.

•  Some of us have gotten substantially sidelined by a workplace bully or a ‘queen bee’ through a discouraging message or an overt action.  This book helped the readers recognize those occurrences in a less personalized context. The attendees discussed ways to ‘get back on the horse’ and move ahead when these obstacles occur.

•  It is critical to engage your husband or partner in a better balance of home/family responsibilities.

•  Find ways to create quality time with your children versus quantity if your time is limited.

Thank you Sheryl for advocating for women everywhere to lean in to what’s most important throughout our lives.  Your ripples are being felt here!!

Enormous thanks to Juliana Lukasik, Principal and Founder of @Large Films and her associate, Sarah Lawson for sponsoring this meeting. And thanks to my wardrobe sponsor, Mabel and Zora for my outfit on Saturday. Incidentally, the dress I am wearing was designed by @TiffanyBeanDesigns, the owner of Mabel and Zora and it was actually made in Portland.  An honor to spotlight two women owned businesses Juliana and Tiffany!

Friends: what were your takeaways from Lean In and how are you leaning in to your life as a result?

Did you know that when people are determining whether they ‘like’ you or not, your word choice merely constitutes 7% of their decision.

38% of their decision is based on the tone of your voice and 55% of their decision is based on your body language. Learn more about this research at Dr. Mehrabian, UCLA.

To help the readers of my forthcoming book, Leading Ladies, reflect on how they can polish their personal style image for the boardroom and boost your body language quotient, I interviewed Commander in Chic of Urban Darling, Corinne Phipps.

Corinne, what is your personal styling advice to women headed to the C-Suite or running their own companies?

This answer may shock you a bit, so hold on. It is different for different parts of the country. I know, what you may be thinking: “The black interview suit is a staple and will work out just fine.” If you are in the East Coast, perhaps. But if you are in Silicon Valley you will stick out like a sore thumb AND might rattle your confidence.

The most basic rule for ‘dressing the part’ is this: Be comfortable in what you are wearing. No, don’t wear a bathrobe to the interview, but think about where you will be. Most likely in a conference room with uncomfortable chairs, bad lighting, and you need to be comfortable not fidgeting.

Other rules to consider: Know your audience. C-Suite is different everywhere. A corporate job will certainly lean toward a more conservative dress code, but that doesn’t mean you have to be uptight. A suit is fine, but wear cute heels, earrings, maybe a fun broach.

More laid back dress codes are the wave of today.

Don’t wear jeans; slacks are a better choice.
VPL – visible panty lines, or any lines for that matter, don’t represent the best you – it looks unkempt and that your attention to the details of you are lacking. Polish up; it shows better.

What are some easy tips for accomplishing this end for very busy professional moms?

The very busy professional mom should outsource. Why on Earth do you want to put another item on the ever-growing To Do list? Let someone else bring you outfits to help polish your look. You work on what you do best.

How do women determine their personal style branding?

Good question. I think women define themselves over time. Nothing is concrete for a woman; we are flexible and certainly are “super women” at times with the juggling acts we complete.

Personal branding starts with the attention to the details of YOU.

Did you shower? Good step in the right direction. Are the kids fed and clothed and on the way to school? Yes!

A woman can still own a sense of style, doesn’t have to be high-fashion (or even no-fashion for that matter) and be a mom. It’s about caring how you present yourself to the world. My philosophy is this, would I be embarrassed if an opportunity I’ve waited my entire life for is at my door with a camera crew and a live interview ready to go. How would that affect what I put on?

Personal branding is really about self-care, but not the kind of self-care everyone needs to know about. It’s personal and maybe even private.

What are some ways that my readers can stay fresh and inspired in their approach to their personal styling?

Pinterest/Urban Darling is an AWESOME way to get quick, bite-sized pictures to model in real life. I am a huge fan of magazines as well. I rip out pages and head out shopping to recreate looks.

Or, hire Personal Stylists, like ones at Urban Darling to take the guess work out of your day. Outsource.

Thank you so much Corinne–who wouldn’t want to work with you, Ms. Fabu!!

Friends: What styling questions do you have for our style guru in residence? Ask away!

Many of my clients hold high profile jobs or are the ‘face’ of their own business and are challenged by how to manage the boundaries between their personal and professional online identities and relationships. Sound familiar friends?  To shed light on this tricky arena, I have invited a dear colleague of mine, Maggie Palmer of MKP Creative to provide direction for how to navigate your online world:

 Maggie: The first step is to accept that you have an online identity. You do exist online, and people can find information about you. It might not be information you’ve put up, it might be information you’ve personally put online, and in most cases, it’s a combination of both.

I’d begin by ‘Googling’ your name. Simply type your name, as you use professionally, into the search bar and see what comes up. Do the same for your business name. You might be surprised! Remember that LinkedIn profile you started 5 years ago but haven’t touched since? There it is, top of the list! Your “personal” Twitter feed that’s full of political statement and/or musings about your personal life and photos of your kids? There it is, with photos listed on Google images! If you don’t like what you see, it’s time to take action- because one of the first things people do after meeting you at a conference or even a job interview, is Google you.

Now before you panic, take a deep breath and realize that having an online identity can be a good thing, if you’re controlling the message. This is your virtual first impression, and can influence how others perceive you both personally and professionally. Now it’s time to get to work making the “virtual” you just as fabulous and the “real” you!

Katie: How do you advise professionals to effectively keep their professional image and personal online profiles separate?

Maggie: The first step is to realize that you will not be able to keep two separate online identities for professional and personal purposes. The sooner you let this idea go, the better off you’ll be. Unfortunately, when you’re a professional engaging in online socializing, there is an invisible line of etiquette you cannot cross.

If you’re like me, your online spaces are filled with a mixture of personal and professional contacts. Try as I might, I can’t seem to keep the business contacts on my business “fan” page and the personal contacts on my “friend” page. What’s more, people often ask me work-related questions on my personal spaces. This is why I always maintain a level of professionalism on all of my social profiles. I learned a long time ago that the line between personal and professional doesn’t exist online. I do feel that Google+ is doing a good job with allowing you some discretion, but most people find Google+ difficult to manage and understand. So for the every-day social media engager, I’d recommend just keeping it clean.

Do I wish I could just jump onto Twitter and spout off any old thing I want? Sure I do. But then I realize that’s what my non-virtual friends and family are for, and a good old-fashioned phone call or drinks with the ladies. My reputation is built on professionalism. So unless I want to be Lady Gaga or another entertainer who gets to say whatever they want- because it corresponds to the image they want you to see associated with them- my updates and posts are almost always above the belt and related to the image I’ve created for the “online me.”

Katie: Can you clarify the most effective social profile mediums that help boost a professional’s influence?

 Maggie: This question is fabulous- and complicated! Darn you, Katie! If we’re talking purely professional, I’d have to go with LinkedIn. I love LinkedIn because it’s a 24/7 networking event. You also have the opportunity to post status updates, join or start conversations related to your area of expertise, and ask for- and give- recommendations and testimonials. Every professional should have a LinkedIn account, and keep it updated.

 Here are some statistics and infographics from a research group who actually has the numbers to back that opinion up: LinkedIn generates more leads for b2b companies than Facebook, Twitter or blogs. Yet only 47% of b2b marketers say they are actively using LinkedIn vs. 90% on Facebook. (Social Media B2B)

 Thank you so much Maggie, you are so wise.

 Does anyone have any questions for Maggie here in following with these suggestions? Ask away in the comment section below.

 Finally, here is a quick bio blurb about ‘my’ Maggie:

 Maggie Palmer is the principal/owner of MKP Creative, a full service Public Relations firm specializing in integrated marketing and social media. MKP represents clients in the health and wellness industry, tech start-ups, small businesses, non-profits and more. MKP clients enjoy both local and national attention, including features in USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Portland Monthly, local network television and more. Maggie is also a published author and has written for various publications in Ohio, Los Angeles, Chicago and Portland, as well as produced television shows for the National Geographic Channel.

Maggie is currently serving her third term on the board of Women Entrepreneurs of Oregon. Maggie lives in SW Portland with her husband, young son and baby girl. She is passionate about helping other entrepreneurs realize their dreams and achieve success.

It is my great honor to introduce you to one of my Leading Ladies; Chicago’s own Kelly Douglas, CEO of Itzy Ritzy. 

I had the privilege of interviewing Kelly for my book recently and I was most struck by the ebb and flow her professional and personal life took on her way to the C-Suite and the birth of her three children.  Enjoy!

Kelly:  “After graduating with honors from Vanderbilt University,   I headed straight to Manhattan, as I figured that the experience I could gain in New York City as a young business woman would be unparalleled.  At the age of 21, I began as an Electronics and High Tech analyst with Andersen Consulting/Accenture, a very male dominated firm and field at the time. I was challenged by finding female mentors as the senior women were often competing with one another in an uninspiring manner.  That said, however, I was able to find several very strong and influential male mentors including one who actually still serves as an involved mentor in my career today.  The influence of these mentors early on in my career has shaped my desire to serve as a strong female voice and mentor for young woman with whom I work.

I have never struggled with confidence when it comes to my professional capabilities and I understood very early on that you have to ‘play the game’ when you are with a firm, which is that you have to make the leaders believe that you will be a ‘lifer’, or on the partner track, in order to have long term or even short term success.  This is not to be interpreted as deceit or deception; rather, I mean you have to be committed in terms of working harder and smarter than your counterparts, always taking on more challenges, keeping a positive attitude, seeking out professional growth, making your bosses job easier and over delivering every time.

By working like this, people will see you as on the partner track, even if you decide not to go that route – at least you will have the option if your career goals, family plans, etc. change.  Despite an early promotion and continued good relationships with senior management, I decided to leave Accenture and honestly I think people were surprised when I left.  As a newlywed, traveling and living in a hotel room Monday through Friday, I found I was simply not passionate enough about the work to justify the personal sacrifices.  Once I identified that I was in a negative mindset and complaining way too much about how much I was traveling, I accepted that it was time for a change.

I put feelers out to my network and out of a desire to get increased management experience; I totally shifted gears and industries and took a significant pay cut to become an Executive Director at Sunrise Senior Living running an assisted living facility in Chicago wherein I had eighty people reporting to me at 25 years old.

Katie: Wow, what a massive career shift. I am curious if you grew up in a home where you saw an entrepreneurial mindset being modeled?

Kelly: I never knew about gender inequality growing up because my mother worked full time building her career  in hospital administration and after 25 years still serves as  the CEO of one of Chicago’s largest hospitals.  Likewise, my dad was a high powered professional, an attorney, and my parents’ careers and strengths were always equal in each other’s eyes and in my eyes.

It was only once I got to college that I realized men and women were not universally considered equals.  I give a lot of credit to my dad for being such a hands on dad and in many ways playing more of the maternal figure role (like putting rollers in my hair, and packing school lunches for me every morning with shapes cut out of the bread) When I was a child, I didn’t realize all of the sacrifices my mom had to make to become a female executive. I give her a lot of credit for fighting the good fight to pave the way for me and other younger woman.  From her, I have learned how to be a strong, confident and positive leader.  I’ve also learned that I will not make the same sacrifices now with my own children and family.   It’s amazing now to watch my mom with her grandchildren, as she is remarkably maternal and nurturing with them and is my best friend.

Katie:  What I love about your story is how fluid and exploratory your spirit has remained throughout all of the shifts of your professional journey.  This is so important for the readers to understand as I know many women can feel stuck professionally once they off-board.  Could you share a bit more about how you have navigated some of the ‘between jobs’ times in your career?

Kelly:  While working at Sunrise, I supported my husband, Brian, while he got his MBA at The University of Chicago.  Upon graduation, Brian accepted a position back in NYC as an investment banker.  I was 6 months pregnant with our first child, and I decided to quit Sunrise to become a full time mom.

For the first 18 months I loved it.  I mean really loved nurturing my daughter and exploring the city together.  However, I started to get that itch.  The itch to take advantage of being in Manhattan, to learn, to contribute, and not lose myself.  It was time for me to figure out my next act.  Managing the assisted living business taught me that I liked being in charge (I probably already knew that, but it confirmed it!) and Brian and I had always dreamed of doing something together entrepreneurially.

One of our ideas was to manage a film fund/ production company. So, I enrolled part time in classes at the film school at New York University (NYU).  During one of the classes our teacher had a real-life Hollywood producer come in a guest speaker. During her lecture she mentioned that she “took in stray dogs”, meaning mentees.  As she finished up her speech and our teacher began the second portion of our class, I stood right up and followed the guest speaker out the door.  I stopped her and said “I want to be your stray dog”.  I picked her brain and asked for her card.  That night I followed up with her immediately.  It took a good 6 months of continuing to email with her before she finally said, okay, you can come and work for me!

I volunteered (aka totally unpaid) to be her production assistant and worked for her on-location in NYC and the Hamptons on a major motion film (starring Nicole Kidman, how fun is that?).  Remember, at this time I was a stay at home mom, so this involved me schlepping out to the Hamptons on the train with my one year old in tow to live and work on location.

The point of this story is that you have to be bold and make opportunities happen, they are not just going to fall in your lap. Secondly, you have to follow through; you can’t just wait for people to always respond to your requests.  If someone does not get back to you, follow up again and again, and if still no response, it’s time to regroup and assess the next best steps.

Finally, you have to really network and form relationships that will get you were you want to go and sometimes that means working for free.

Katie: How did you transition into your current CEO role of Itzy Ritzy?

Kelly: As I mentioned, my husband and I always dreamed of doing something entrepreneurial which is a large reason that Brian went into investment banking – to get financial expertise to support our business background.  The lifestyle of investment banking in NYC is extremely hard.  I essentially felt like a single mom and although the money was great, we knew we had to make a change as a family and not get sucked further into that lifestyle.  We didn’t have “the big idea”, so we identified market segments wherein our business acumen could be applied to an existing product or service.  We ended up buying a tiny little company out of Orange County, re-branded it, revamped it, launched a ton of new products and moved it to our hometown of Chicago.

It was a planned risk.  The first couple of years were so scary and stressful, but it’s so amazing how quickly we’ve grown and continue to grow, how much we’ve learned, and how many opportunities remain.  Our once teeny tiny brand is now in over 6,000 doors, so I’m really proud of our hard work and our exceptional team. ”

Thank you so much Kelly–

Friends, what are you taking away from learning about Kelly’s journey of leaning in and leaning back into her career and life beyond work?

Andrea, can you tell the readers a bit about your career journey:

“My background is in recruiting in the global financial services sector. At 32, I ran recruiting for the Asset Management Division of Lehman Brothers. I had twins at 35 and went back to work a year after as the Head of Learning and Development for the US and Canadian operations of Michael Page International, a global recruiting firm. Since becoming a mother, I have and continue to re-negotiate both to myself and for my professional aspirations, what success and ‘having it all’ means to me. We all know it is a fallacy that we can do everything.

When I was 30 (not married yet and charging hard in my career), a group of girlfriends and I read the book “Mid Life Crisis at 30″ and uncovered the concept that it is up to each of us to define what ‘all’ is to us and that it changes over time. The words of this book have absolutely become more meaningful to me over time. Since then, I find myself constantly re-assessing, ‘What is going to make me happy and work for my family?”

What themes have you observed in women vs. men in the workplace?

One surprising change I encountered in my 30′s was a shift in my Myers Brigg’s Profile.  I used to be an ENTJ (extroversion, intuition, thinking and judgment) and I shifted to a Feeler instead of a Thinker, acting more on emotions than thought. There is research to prove that this is a common phenomenon for women in their 30′s, particularly after having children.  Women have to stay mindful of what they are doing and why, because our ‘why’s” change a lot, particularly mid career/mid-life, in contrast to our male counterparts.

What is your advice for navigating office politics?

I think it’s important for women (for anyone!) to be aware of the culture of their employers, as this has a real impact on how employees effectively perform, and thus climb the ladder.  Women need to ask themselves, ‘What is the culture of my company and how can my style and demeanor best function within it? 

I love Dan Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence at Work.  He explains that a distinguishing characteristic of leaders is their level of self awareness.  Great leaders manage around their weaknesses and focus on their strengths.  Women need to think more consciously about how they can best influence others as well as their particular organization.

What has most surprised you in your career?

One theme that I felt quite under prepared for in my life was building up the resilience for life’s curve balls. I think we all plan for life milestones, like finding the love of your life, building a career, getting promoted, having children, buying your first home. But you don’t usually have a plan in place for those curve balls. And for driven personalities like me, and probably many of the women reading this blog and forthcoming book, it is really hard to navigate curve balls when they come out of left field.

For me, my Father dying very suddenly just prior to my wedding and, later, having twins, one of whom has some medical issues was definitely not part of ‘the plan’.  And navigating un-chartered waters is even more difficult if you are a ‘rescuer’ like me, and it’s YOU yourself who actually needs some rescuing.

How have you coped with these curve balls?

By leaning on a couple of really great friends and my husband, staying focused on my priorities, making time for exercise and making sure I am getting enough sleep. Its exponentially harder do this as a mom who works, but also critically important. These steps help me be calmer and better adjusted to my particular life’s challenges. I love the quote “The only way out is through” and come back to this often when a curve ball comes my way.

Finally, what is your advice for aspiring Leading Ladies?

No matter where you are in your life, it is so important to mentor down both formally and informally. It’s a duty. We need to do more of it.

Make a plan and focus on executing it. But be prepared for curve balls. They’re often very challenging but bring a richness and perspective that you otherwise wouldn’t have.

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Thank you so very much Andrea.

Ladies: How do you manage life’s curveballs?

• What is best for my soul?
• What is best for my career? Do I really know what I want professionally?
• What is best for my family?

I have invited my esteemed colleague, Shari Sambursky (NYC Job Career Coach, Career-Esteem.com) to reflect on her experience of assisting women awake from professional  ‘auto-pilot’ mode :

“We all have a purpose here on earth, a gift that we are given to leave our imprint, and be in service to others. Frequently, women walk through their life not even realizing they are unhappy. Whether it’s in their relationships or careers, it happens all too often.  

Your soul keeps nudging you that this isn’t the right situation to be in, but you ignore it. You may constantly have thoughts of what it would be like “if…” and then tell yourself it’s just a dream, and that it can’t really happen.

The thing is, if you can dream it, it can happen. 

 After years in the same career, your true calling awaits.  As you feel a strong intuitive pull of “I don’t want to do this anymore” you may make excuses of why you have to put your dreams to the side, and move further away from that dream. 

 You may tell yourself you stay for the money or that you needed the health benefits.  And while this is true, you need those things; it’s easy to use that as an excuse for why you are not pursuing your dreams.

The true culprit is fear.

 Signs from the universe are all around you, they may come in the form of the promotion you were hoping for that didn’t come through, or doors being closed to opportunity to advance in your current job.  While these may seem like grave disappointments, they may, in fact, be the blessing in disguise guiding you toward your purpose.  

 The key is to recognize the signs, the nudges, and act on them.

Acknowledging there is a deeper purpose for you

and recognizing the excuses you are making around

staying where you are is the first step. 

 Have faith in the divine and the courage to move toward your passion.  Get help where you need it, work with a coach. Every great athlete, or Olympian works with a coach, so why not you too“

Thank you so much Shari, we love your work and your voice!

Friends, what does this bring up for you?

Is your work today feeding your soul desires?